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Ike Mbakwo: Prevent Conflict in Marriage Than Fixing it

Rescue Marriage and Relationship initiative boss, Ike Mbakwo, a young man who has been working tirelessly in preparing couples for marriage for close to 2 decades shed light on premarital relationship, solutions to abusive relationships, in this interview with Creekvibes Oludaniels, he also talks about the fate of marriages in another 10 years.

Tell us about your NGO?
Rescue Marriage and Relationship Initiative is a Nigerian Non-Government Organization based in Lagos but has its presence in all major cities in Nigeria and beyond. We have a huge presence on Facebook with the same name – Rescue Marriage and Relationship Initiative (NGO).

In just six months, we are over 3,000 members on Facebook, active members. We also have 12 admin members who actively contribute articles on daily bases on the Facebook platform. Each city has its own Whatsapp page. It is our maxim to make our society better.

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Many young men don’t really want to get married these days; they only prefer to have baby mama(s). What is your perception on this?
They are afraid of the responsibilities that are associated with family life. This is a very unfortunate trend. Life outside of marriage and family is deceitful and full of misery. There are no alternate to family life.

What is the fate of ‘marriage’ in 10 years to come?
We will get better. More marriages will be saved. We only need people to understand what marriage is all about before going into it.

What are the factors for lasting relationship/marriage?
Hope, love and faith in the one you choose to spend your life with. It will be better when God is the bedrock and foundation of marriages.

What are the most important things in marriage?
The most important things in marriage is knowing the reasons why one is getting married, understanding the person you are getting married to, getting prepared well enough for the marriage and having the resources to make the marriage work irrespective of the challenges that marital relationship will bring your way.

Which talk shows, seminars or workshops do you have in the making?
We just came out of a relationship show in Jos, Plateau State that was tagged ‘JOS LOVE FEAST’, the program was held on Sunday 15th November, 2020 in the city of Jos. We are looking forward to have the next scheduled programs for 2021 starting with Singles’ Forum which will hold on Saturday 6th February, 2021 at Divine Mercy Catholic Church, Alakija, Lagos.

This program is interdenominational, it will be focusing on advancing pre-marital relationship through wisdom. The big one for Lagos will be on Sunday 4th April, 2021 (Easter Sunday). It will be the second edition of duo varieties nite. Program designed to consolidate marital relationship. This program will hold at the prestigious Rockview Hotel, Festac Town. We have also scheduled 042 together for Enugu on 26th September, 2021 and second edition of ‘Jos love feast’ for 31st October, 2021. Other cities will also have a touch of our presence come 2021.

How do you survive running the NGO without foreign aid?
We do not have any assistance at all not to mention foreign aids. Myself and my directors are determined to do our best within our limited resources until our impacts will be deserving of assistance from all well-meaning people.

Tell me about the Initiative, the financial stalwarts behind it?
Board members for now are the stalwarts that we have. Our activities so far have shown that the future is accessibly bright.

When did it start, who is the brain behind it, was the person in an abusive relationship?
It began this year 2020. We applied to CAC for license to operate in January, and we got one on 19th June. Ike Mbakwo is the brain behind it. I am not in any abusive marriage, and need not be in one to be able to help those who found themselves in one. I have been working with the Catholic Church, helping prepare candidate for marriage for over 19 years now, so I felt that I should get a platform through which to reach out to the larger society.

What is the solution to abusive relationship?
Only God can repair any wound that is inflicted from any relationship. There are so many forms of marital abuse. Violence in the home should be avoided. Communication helps to provide the cushion to ameliorate such abusive marriages. Please when lives are in threat, staying apart is most recommended.

Do you get referral, maybe couples that are about to divorce are been referred to you for counseling?
We get referrals. If our best will not be seen to be good enough, we also refer to bigger NGO.

How many relationships have you successfully fixed?
I would rather choose not to take counts. Our activities speak for itself.

Do you have statistics?
We do not have statistics. We do not have a need for that too because like the Bible story of the Cleansed 10 Lepers, so many did not come back. Our attention is more on preventing conflict in marriages than in fixing marriages already gone bad.